Guide for the Jewplexed: Ashamnu for computer users–a keyboard confession

It is customary to pound one's SHIFT Key as we recite each line:

We know our Apple better than the apple of our eye.

We think that Backspacing will fix everything.

We seek Control too often.

We Delete the good with the bad.

We have traded in our feelings for Emoticons.

We ignore our Function keys.

We think Google is the truth.

We have forgotten how to ask for Help.

We Insert in the wrong places.

We pay way too much attention to our Joysticks.

We waste our Keystrokes.

We LOCK CAPS when we are angry.

We forget those who live on the Margins.

When others Need us, our attention is stuck on Num lock.

We abuse our Operating system.

We only care about our Percent.

We Call Your name and it comes out QWERTY.

Too often we are a Remote user.

We Shift all blame, and take too many Shortcuts.

We have done the same thing wrong so many times, we might as well set a Tab.

We are more User than friendly.

We turn up the Volume, rather than seeking quiet resolution.

We close our Windows to new possibilities.

We don't type enough X's & O's.

We lose ourselves in YouTube.

We have lost our Zip and our drive.

We have corrupted Your binary commandments, and it has frozen our drives. Surely, You are correct to inspect all the data we input, for You have worked wonders in IT, but all we send is an error message.