Dating 101: Start to finish in under an hour


I received an email online from a man this evening. He is handsome, educated, and at first glance seemed very entertaining. He wrote me a charming and funny email letting me know he was interested. I sent a quick response as I was in line at the grocery store. When I got home I looked through his profile properly and realized he was actually quite fascinating. I am most attracted to men who have stories to tell, and it appeared this man had a lot of stories. I was intrigued.

I wrote him to say I thought he was impressive and he wrote back and wished me luck with my search. He went from telling me he was interested, to telling me he wasn’t, in the blink of an eye. It was strange. It was also a shame because putting aside any attraction or romantic intentions, I was simply curious about him and thought hearing some of his stories would be wonderful. It was finished as quick as it was started, and I am left feeling confused.

Dating online is a nightmare. You are written to based on a picture, then on occasion you come across someone who actually reads your profile, and it is exciting because that matters. Then in a series of quick emails, you manage to say something that changes your path. It is odd to me that things can be altered so quickly. This man does not know me, and there is certainly no obligation or expectation, but I feel compelled to tell him I don’t get what happened.

I am 50 years old and a smart girl, but I will never understand how dating works. If he was interested and I said something he didn’t like, understand, or appreciate, why not just say so? Why not give the person a chance to clarify? Why not say you didn’t agree with them and now think it is not a match? Dating requires one to be brave, even in the face of rejection, but some days are rough. For some reason this rejection has hurt my feelings. Oy vey with dating.

Seems to me I should get another cat and call it a day. That would be the easy thing to do, but I’m not one to take the easy route. I’ll keep trying because love is grand and I’m not giving up on finding it. By not giving up of course I mean I’m totally giving up on it for today, but tomorrow is a new day. Dating sucks, but one must date in order to find someone to share their life with, so I date. On a night like this I am dating and also drinking because wine helps.

I read our exchange and didn’t see an issue, but clearly there was one and I'm left feeling bad about it. Not because I’m overly sensitive or naïve about the process, but because I like to understand things and have no understanding of what happened. It’s a shame chicks don’t do it for me because that seems easier as women are not complicated to me. At the end of the day it’s not a big deal and I wish him well. Dating is a crap shoot so I’m keeping the faith.

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