Dating 101: Do the Math


I received a memory reminder picture from Facebook last night. It was a photo I had taken four years ago while on vacation with an ex-boyfriend. I was visiting his family abroad with his kids, and my son. It was my first time meeting his family and a lovely picture of his brother and sister-in-law. I admired the picture and thought back to the trip, which felt like a big deal at the time.

He had paid for me and my son to fly overseas for Christmas break with his entire family. We are no longer together of course, but I have remained close to his brother, sister-in-law, and their kids. They are people who matter to me and are like family. His sister-in-law is my sister and I love her. I was about to send her the pic as she looks great in it, but paused to remember the trip.

I thought about the man I had been so close to, and decided to look at his Instagram because I was curious to see how he was doing. He now lives with his girlfriend and there are a lot of pictures of food. There was one picture however, that was interesting. Not because they were laying naked in his bed on the sheets I bought him as a gift, but because it was an anniversary picture.

More specifically, their four-year anniversary. Are you following? The picture of them in bed was from October 2012. We were together four years ago on New Year’s Eve, yet they were celebrating four years together in October? Are you doing the math? When he took me to meet his family he was also dating her. I stared at the picture for a long time and was truly shocked.

Not only was he dating us at the same time, but he broke up with me in March, which means he dated us both for another three months. That is six months he was dating the two of us. Who does that? Listen, if I wanted to hurt him I would print his name, but the goal is not to hurt him, only to let him know that I know. It’s just between me and my readers. Me and my millions of readers.

So why write about him four years later? Because it is important for me to say that had I known this was going on, I would have left. I am a smart girl and I would have opted out, but he didn’t respect me enough to give me the right to leave. He treated me like I was nothing ,which makes our relationship nothing. I was kind to this man and he is a pathological liar. That is painful.

I think back to that time and wonder who in our lives knew what. Did people know and not tell me? In the end I suppose it doesn’t matter. I have no regrets, and there were blessings from that relationship, but that does not make it hurt any less. People break up all the time and life goes on. It is a shame however when you learn that you invested in someone who did not value you.

I’m writing about it because he reads my blog and will see it. He will now know that I know he is a liar. He better pray that his daughters avoid men like him. To his girlfriend, you’ll lose him the way you found him. As for your food, it looks like it is made for dogs, and since he is one, that makes sense. Stay in school kids and learn math. It is important and reminds you keep the faith.

+