Jewish Journal

Am I as happy as Leann Rimes?

This blog is lovingly sponsored by Jose Cuervo.

I retired my “Keeping it Real” blog in 2017 after 8 long years. I wrote about pop culture, celebrity, and reality television, and it was frankly exhausting to keep up with everything going on in those worlds. My life changed for the better when I put it to bed. My schedule is no longer controlled by television, and I don’t pay much attention to celebrities. I write Keeping the Faith, and it is wonderful because I LOVE that blog. I have been chronicling my life and sharing my world view for almost a decade and it makes me happy to know my son, and one day my grandchildren, will read everything. It will provide a clear understanding of who I was, what I believed, and my world view. Keeping the Faith matters to me and while I sometimes miss Keeping it Real, not writing it does not mean I am not still keeping it real, which brings me to today’s subject, Leann Rimes.

I used to write about Leann Rimes quite often for Keeping it Real. I find Ms. Rimes to be an interesting subject to write about. Not that she is particularly interesting, but her mental health is truly fascinating. She has been in the public eye for decades and when you look at her when she first became famous, you cannot help but wish good things for her. She was ridiculously talented and painfully awkward. A sweet little girl with crazy parents you just knew were undoubtedly going to screw her over. As she grew up, and had scattered moments of success, I hoped she had come out of her childhood unscathed, but in the end she was damaged in ways that have caused her to unravel as an adult. Sadly, she was too simple to keep the madness private and instead decided to invite us all along for the ride. Bless her. Leann Rimes is brilliantly unstable.

What I find most fascinating is that after she chose to share her tragic choices with the masses, she began to get upset when people had opinions of her she did not like. I happen to think she is delusional, and since she is the one who gave me that impression, I wrote about it. Important to note I wasn’t the only one to write about her in an honest and perhaps unflattering way, but I was the one she targeted for revenge. Leann Rimes read my blogs like her life depended on it, and let me know in countless ways that she was trying to make me stop. When I think about Leann thinking she was the reason I stopped writing Keeping it Real, it makes me feel warm inside and laugh hard. She had nothing to do with why I stopped, and everything to do with why I am bringing it back today for a special bonus blog.

Recently an old blog I wrote about her resurfaced and some people read it for the first time. When I saw it going around on social media I read it too, and thought it was quite great. I am a gifted and funny writer on a bad day, but rather brilliant on a Leann Rimes day. About an hour after the old blog was retweeted, I started to get messages from Leann Rimes fans and they were not happy. By “they” of course I mean I think it is actually only one person, with several accounts, who may or may not be an employee of Ms. Rimes. Allegedly. This person went in and let me know I was a talentless and disgusting human being who was so jealous of Leann Rimes I could not function properly. Apparently I can only dream about being as happy as Leann Rimes is. It got me thinking about Leann and our history together. It led to this blog and the question of the day: Am as I happy as Leann Rimes?

It is a silly question of course, because Leann Rimes is not a happy person. She is miserable and lives her life with a constantly broken heart. She desperately wants someone to love her, and someone did, but she chose to give up everything for a man who is, as I write, not thinking about her. Not even a little bit. Allegedly. I have loved a man that much and had him not love me back, and it is crushing in a way that is hard to recover from. I can understand her staying in it rather than have it be over, but her instability is about a lot more than her marriage. Her issues stem from everyone wanting something from her. She does not matter, allegedly, to the people in her life and so perhaps the bigger question should be: Is Leann Rimes as happy as I am? I would actually love to talk to Ms. Rimes about happiness, but even thinking about talking to her might get me arrested.

I am not only happy, I am blessed. I have survived cancer, twice. Just had surgery on my neck with a remarkable outcome. I am mother to who can only be described as a truly wonderful human being. I am beautiful, funny, talented, and have the best hair! I have a great family, terrific friends, and an amazing job. I believe in love and search for it with an open heart, not an open wallet. Important to note more people read my blog than attend Ms. Rimes parking lot concerts series or buy her albums. One would think she would be smart enough to save and invest her money, rather than spend it on legal fees to try and shut me up, but I think we have established she is not a particularly bright girl. Bless her. I have nothing against Leann Rimes. I am just a writer, one she isn’t a fan of, and therefore when bored, she obsesses over me. It is kind of sweet. Bless her.

I wish only good things for Leann Rimes and my door is always open to her. I would happily chat with her so she can understand I am not the enemy and she gives me far too much power in her life. Instead of “reimagining” songs from 30 years ago, she should look forward and dream bigger for herself. Instead of wasting money on cease and desist letters, she should get a divorce lawyer and save herself. Instead of spending time in parking lots over the summer, she should spend time in a wellness retreat rediscovering her value. Instead of dreaming about being a mother, she should become one and even do it on her own. Instead of wasting her time obsessing over me, she should obsess over herself. Am I as happy as Leann Rimes? No I am not. Thank God.  Is Leann Rimes as happy as me? No, but she could be. I am counting my blessings, heading back to Keeping the Faith, and keeping it real.