Real Housewives of New Jersey Week 4 Recap
Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.
– I’m not feeling great this week
– Bullet points are happening
– Next week I’ll do a regular blog
– Jose makes me feel better
– He’s here loving on me and my liver
– Bless him
– I got distracted by the Dodgers last night
– Great game and I don’t even like baseball
– Teresa’s dad is adorable
– Teresa’s kids are entertaining
– Who doesn’t know to dry pork chops?
– Cookbooks up the wazoo and this was a surprise?
– Teresa is not a single mom
– Teresa’s mom passed a month ago
– Milania is struggling
– The girls have grown up a lot
– That kid needs her own show
– Siggy visits with Dolores
– Siggy is now good with Margaret
– Dolores doesn’t trust Margaret
– Siggy talks shit about Margaret
– Why make up then talk shit?
– Siggy is not being cool
– Dolores is pissed about all of it
– Siggy is having a party at her house
– Selling handbags like MaryKay
– Dolores will go and it will be ugly
– Melissa is painfully unappealing
– Joe Gorga is the watchable one in this couple
– Margaret and her husband are over for dinner
– They ask about how Margaret met her husband
– Why speak so lightly about an affair?
– They broke up two families
– Margaret is gross
– Melissa has a blown up book cover in her pool room
– She’s the only who read that book
– Margaret tells Melissa about meeting with Siggy
– Melissa is still mad at Siggy
– Who cares?
– Margaret needs a new lipstick color
– How do Melissa and Joe afford that house?
– Cut to Siggy and her son
– She wants to hang out with him all the time
– He is not into it
– He doesn’t get why this would hurt her
– She sounds just like me right now
– Siggy will cry in three, two, one
– I made my kid watch this
– He laughed
– They just don’t get it
– Melissa is visiting Teresa
– Melissa asks if Audriana does yoga
– Has Melissa met these kids?
– Fake TV relationship
– Melissa tells Teresa Joe bought a restaurant
– He actually told Tre first
– Melissa doesn’t want to be in business with Teresa
– She wants everything else of hers so why not?
– Margaret runs her business out of her house
– Can she not afford office space?
– Margaret’s mom is into sex
– Sig invites Margaret to her party
– Margaret can’t make it
– Teresa is lunching with Danielle and Melissa
– Danielle is still talking shit about Dolores
– Danielle is a trashy fame whore
– Bless her
– Melissa wants an apology from Siggy
– Teresa is taking her kids to Puerto Rico
– Melissa gives Teresa parenting advice
– Teresa and Joe are setting up the restaurant
– This feels fake to me
– Melissa is 45 minutes late
– Teresa and Melissa are exhausting together
– Teresa will cook and Melissa will be the hostess
– Melissa won’t wait tables
– Cut to Dolores and Siggy
– Dolores is staging her boyfriend’s house to sell
– Siggy talks about the tension with her son
– Dolores gets it as they are in the same place
– I love Siggy as a mother
– Until she talks about her vag
– Creepy to reference her vag to her son’s girlfriend’s vag
– Milania is perfection
– Back to Tre, Milania gets an email from Joe
– Sweet, touching, scripted
– Time for Siggy’s party
– She’s loud, which I like, but screeches, which I don’t
– Siggy is still talking about the cake
– I want to impale myself
– I’m two shots in
– Danielle makes my teeth hurt
– Danielle tells Teresa Dolores talks shit about her
– I don’t believe it
– Not one word
– Teresa believes Danielle
– I call bullshit
– Dolores is beautiful
– Melissa arrives and Sig goes right in
– Siggy is not handling this well
– I want to shake her so she’ll stop
– Oh. My. God.
– Siggy tells her guest to shut up so she can yell
– She then humiliates Melissa to make a point
– Siggy has officially lost her mind
– This can’t be blamed on editing
– Poor girl has got to let this go
– Melissa is embarrassed
– Siggy lays on the floor
– I can’t
– It makes me sad when reality TV Jews act crazy
– I hope Sig can make this right
– Teresa tells Sig to shut up about the cake
– Dolores stands up for Siggy
– Siggy sits quietly and lets Dolores go it alone
– Not cool
– Dolores is livid and tells Teresa she has her back too
– Danielle tells Dolores she spoke shit about Tre
– Dolores denies saying it
– Dolores calls Danielle a scumbag
– Dolores tells Teresa to sleep with one eye open
– Then calls Danielle a starving, hungry, bitch
– My favorite NJ line since prostitution whore
– Coincidentally about the same girl
– Danielle’s lack of eyebrows is distracting
– Dolores tells Teresa to pick a side
– Teresa doesn’t know who to believe
– Can she seriously be that dumb?
– Danielle fake cries
– Siggy does not defend Dolores
– That is just gross
– Danielle leaves
– Teresa and Melissa leave with her
– I am over Danielle
– I believe Dolores
– I don’t like Margaret
– I think Teresa is confused
– I wonder what Melissa’s IQ is
– I hope Siggy can get it together
– I love Jose
– I’ll be back next week
– With a good old fashioned blog
– Drinking and keeping it real
When it comes to the complicated Israeli-Palestinian conflict, there’s one simple fact that pretty much everyone agrees with: The attempts at a “two-state solution” have...
Last week, sitting under the majestic neo-Renaissance ceiling of Cipriani’s downtown Manhattan restaurant, I listened to speeches about unity, richness in diversity, heroism and humility....
[caption id="attachment_240402" align="aligncenter" width="1945"] Photo from Wikimedia Commons[/caption] Is there anything more Jewish than a debate about debates? I guess there could be a debate...
In November 2014, I moderated a panel on the future of American Jewry at 30 Years After’s fourth biennial Civic Action conference at the Skirball...
This week, the government of Saudi Arabia came under heavy, justified fire for its apparent murder of a Saudi citizen living in the United States,...
I used to enjoy grocery shopping as a pleasant, even relaxing diversion. It was a break from work, a chance to run into friends from...
[caption id="attachment_233906" align="aligncenter" width="5161"] U.S. President Donald Trump displays a presidential memorandum after announcing his intent to withdraw from the JCPOA Iran nuclear agreement in...
I know the risk I take when I say anything positive about President Donald Trump in today’s climate of self-congratulatory partisan idiocy. My friends in...
Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah are over. We went from fast to feast. I ate enough to last a year....
[caption id="attachment_240390" align="aligncenter" width="1800"] Adina Elbaz sits behind her ride partner, Rocky Brody.Photo courtesy of Wheels of Love, ALYN Hospital[/caption] Adina Elbaz had just celebrated...
[caption id="attachment_240422" align="aligncenter" width="1800"] Lucy Aharish and Tzachi Halevi pose for a photo at their wedding party in Hadera, Israel, on Oct. 11.Photo by Meggie...
For musician Craig Taubman, eclecticism has always been the name of the game. For more than 15 years, Taubman led the popular Friday Night Live...
It’s deep autumn, and if you made it through this past summer and the Jewish holidays relatively unscathed, good for you. The endless inclement weather,...
One verse, Five Voices. Edited by Salvador Litvak, Accidental Talmudist Your name shall no longer be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham, for I...
The New Israel Fund (NIF) announced last weekend that UCLA Jewish History Professor David N. Myers has been appointed president of NIF’s board of directors....
Refugees usually arrive in a new country with little to their names, isolated because their language and customs are different. But some refugees who arrive...
Earlier this month, the Burton Sperber Library on American Jewish University’s campus was abuzz with chatter about Galicia, the historic Central European kingdom that straddled...
Under the banner of “Hoops and the Holy Land,” 300 Sinai Temple basketball camp students not only got to meet but also had the opportunity...
Bruce Jay Friedman’s darkly comic play “Steambath” posits a provocative scenario in which a motley crew of recently departed souls discover that the afterlife is a...
Most teenagers have a musical hero: an artist they listen to again and again when they are happy, when they are sad, when they just want...
Civility Is a Casualty in Political Discourse I admit to being a liberal progressive, and thus my political, cultural and social views and values are...
Harkham-GAON Academy held its third annual gala at the Luxe Sunset Boulevard Hotel in Brentwood on Oct. 9. The 2018 gala honorees were Lily and...
I called Amy Ephron, expecting the usual type of interview to take place, presenting one by one the questions I had carefully outlined about her...
The belief in magic harks back to Persia and to the pre-Islamic period of the Zoroastrians. Magi, the term for Zoroastrian priests and learned magicians,...
FRI OCT 19 Pride Shabbat Service The community is invited to a Pride Shabbat service focusing on unity, equality and inclusion for all, regardless of...
[caption id="attachment_240389" align="aligncenter" width="1800"] Halie Soifer[/caption] Most people aren’t in the business of swinging presidential elections at the ripe old age of 30 but Halie...
As the temperatures finally drop here in Southern California and it feels a little bit like fall, you may be in the mood to spruce...
Aaron Abramovitch died Sept. 25 at 94. Survived by wife Dorothy; daughter Barbara; son Gerry (Fran); 2 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai Cynthia Lucile Benveniste...
Jack M. Nagel, whose decades of generosity and leadership helped establish and develop the Los Angeles Orthodox Jewish community and its respected educational institutions, died...
“I am not looking for empowering female characters,” Maggie Gyllenhaal told audiences on Oct. 11 at the fourth annual Women in Entertainment Summit at the...