Real Housewives of New Jersey Week 3 Recap


Typos are generously provided by Grey Goose.

I didn’t get a chance to blog last night because I was out for dinner and drinks with some real housewives of New Jersey. I had a great time with Siggy and Dolores. Siggy is my Israeli sister and Dolores was nothing like what I thought she would be. I’m going to need to devote an entire blog to Dolores so look for that this weekend. In the meantime, I am going to bullet point this week because I’m tired and there is a bottle of Grey Goose calling my name from the kitchen. I can hear it. Seriously.

  • Margaret needs a stylist
  • Margaret is a fraud
  • Google it
  • Her house is a mess
  • She says because her husband is a control freak
  • Translation: They don’t have money to finish their house
  • Cut to Siggy and her husband
  • Siggy is still mad at Margaret
  • Margaret tells her staff Siggy is unhinged
  • Margaret is a twat
  • She’s also a homewrecker and a skank
  • That is from her own story so relax
  • Dolores and Frank – do not get it
  • Good for them for putting their kids first
  • I couldn’t do it
  • Tre’s dad is moving in with her
  • Love Teresa
  • Love her dad
  • Melissa makes my back spasm
  • I’m doing shot #1
  • Everyone is recapping Boca
  • Ugh
  • Leave the recapping to the professionals
  • Time to look at ugly clothes at Envy
  • That store can’t really make money
  • Margaret “designs” her own prints
  • Translation: She steals designs
  • Google it
  • Danielle turns up
  • Hooker
  • Google it
  • Waaaaaaaaay too much filler
  • Siggy has blocked Margaret on social media
  • Margaret is having a party in her shithole
  • She calls to invite Sig
  • Sig declines the invite
  • She is still too upset to fake it with Margaret
  • Bravo Siggy
  • Dolores is having dinner with her son and ex-husband
  • I’ll empty the dishwasher now
  • Dolores needs a storyline.
  • STAT
  • Melissa is painfully fake
  • Joe is fun to watch
  • Melissa is useless on this show
  • I’m guessing there is a bankruptcy looming
  • Allegedly
  • Bless them
  • Siggy and Teresa meet for a drink
  • Siggy says sorry
  • Teresa says sorry
  • Life goes on
  • Waaaaaiiiiittttt
  • Siggy hates Margaret
  • Hate is a strong word
  • Try “strongly despise”
  • That’s what all of us watching are using
  • Cocktail #1
  • Joe bought a restaurant
  • I call bullshit
  • He can’t pay attention let alone pay a bill
  • The meatball wants to sell meatballs
  • Blah, blah, blah
  • Tre is writing another book
  • Margaret has a stuffed bear in her house
  • Is that shit real?
  • PETA can you see this?
  • If that is real she is grosser than I thought
  • Her house is super dirty
  • No money for a housekeeper
  • Allegedly
  • Melissa wants Margaret to help her in business
  • LMAO
  • Margaret’s ovens don’t work
  • Translation: Didn’t pay the utility bill
  • Just saying
  • Siggy and Dolores are not going to Margaret’s house
  • They both have pigtails
  • Fucking hilarious
  • Dolores gives Sig a picture of them
  • Siggy opens a frame, but doesn’t put the pic in
  • That is going to bug me
  • Margaret’s ex-husband is there
  • The one she cheated on
  • I can’t
  • Who paid to turned lights on?
  • Dolores and Siggy are in face masks
  • So much more fun at Siggy’s house
  • Margaret needs a new lipstick
  • Teresa says Dolores is a minion of Siggy
  • Dolores is not a minion of anyone
  • Sig and Dolores are perfection together
  • Teresa tells Margaret Siggy hates her
  • Margaret texts Siggy from her party
  • Scripted much?
  • Margaret invites Siggy out
  • Dolores calls Margaret out on her bullshit
  • Siggy says she’ll meet her
  • Dolores tells Sig not to go
  • Shot #2
  • The sit down begins
  • Siggy is explaining herself
  • Margaret is a twat
  • She’s also an idiot
  • Siggy is hilarious
  • Margaret thinks she is Joan Rivers
  • Sorry Joan
  • Rest in Peace Joan
  • Sig tells Margaret she needs to be medicated
  • I think Sig wins this battle
  • Siggy starts to cry
  • Siggy is frustrated
  • Margaret thinks Margaret is really funny
  • Not so much
  • Margaret is delusional about Margaret
  • I’m going to need more vodka
  • Next week we’re getting classic Jersey
  • I’ll be here
  • Drinking and keeping it real

FYI: This happened!

 

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