Real Housewives of New York City Week 17 Recap


Typos are generously provided by Merlot.

I am happy to report that today is day 29 of my 30 day no sugar cleanse. I made it through 30 days without a Cosmo and I feel good! Energy is better, sleep is better, and I lost a few pounds. I’m not sure why I embarked on this challenge, but I did, and I finished, and next week my blog will be a good old fashioned Cosmo fueled recap. Until then, I am sticking with the bullet points, a glass of Merlot, and Jose standing by to be poured over ice. Important to note that by glass of course I mean bottle. Get a drink and join me as we continue our Mexican vacation.

  • Sonja is badgering Ramona
  • She is also slurring
  • Ramona insists she is happy
  • Bethenny wants them to stop
  • Tequila is flowing
  • Sonja wants to make out with Ramona
  • Sonja wants to make out with Luann
  • Sonja is hammered
  • Bethenny shows Sonja her boobs
  • Bethenny gets naked and jumps in the pool
  • Ramona flashes Carole her boobs
  • Carole could not care any less
  • Sonja is drinking out of the pitcher
  • Sonja skinny dips with Bethenny
  • Dorinda doesn’t do naked
  • Ramona and Bethenny have a heart to heart
  • Everyone is now slurring
  • Tequila is their enemy
  • Tequila is my lover
  • Bethenny is yelling at Ramona
  • Ramona denies all wrongdoing
  • Ramona is fake crying
  • I’m so over the pity party
  • Dorinda is trying to get Sonja dressed
  • In Bethenny’s bathing suit
  • I want to punch Ramona in the face
  • Bethenny is now crying
  • Without tears
  • No tears and it is not crying
  • Bitches
  • Bethenny and Ramona hold each other
  • While fake tequila crying
  • Ramona admits she was mean for no reason
  • Ramona turns off her emotions in a second
  • Probably because her emotions are fake
  • Time to get ready for dinner
  • Sonja is now trashed
  • Bethenny and Sonja kiss
  • Oy vey with these chicks and tequila
  • Jose is feels rather abused.
  • He has been violated
  • I shall comfort him
  • Bethenny is the only one to turn up to dinner
  • Bethenny is screaming at everyone for being late
  • I feel bad for the chefs
  • Ungrateful bitches
  • Dorinda is sick of the bitching
  • Dorinda says Bethenny being aggressive scares her
  • Bethenny laughs on her face
  • Dorinda gets all Dorinda
  • Bethenny thinks Dorinda is nuts
  • Dorinda cuts herself with a knife
  • She doesn’t; feel a thing
  • My. God.
  • Dorinda is high
  • Just a thought
  • Allegedly
  • Come on.
  • She took something
  • Bethenny is lecturing Bethenny
  • I love Bethenny on this show
  • Dorinda is embarrassing herself
  • Dorinda is now belligerent
  • Ramona walks like she is constipated
  • Sonja is sleeping through dinner
  • Tinsley is sweet
  • Shame she speaks through her nasal cavity
  • Fireworks start in the middle of dinner
  • Probably because they are hours late
  • Luann seems to have slept through dinner too
  • Dorinda is going after Bethenny
  • Bethenny is shutting it down
  • Dorinda calls Bethenny a mean bitch
  • This show is perfection
  • Dorinda shits on Skinnygirl
  • Bethenny tells her to fuck off
  • Truth comes out when drunk
  • Apparently nobody like Bethenny
  • Jealousy is an ugly thing
  • Dorinda stumbles off
  • Bethenny wants an apology
  • Morning comes and everyone is alive
  • Dorinda is ignoring Bethenny
  • It is time for yoga
  • Dorinda does not apologize
  • She also does not remember what she said
  • Bethenny doesn’t let shit go
  • I’m Team Bethenny
  • Dorinda is very defensive
  • Bethenny tells Dorinda she is nasty
  • I like Bethenny
  • The earth is clearly off axis
  • Bethenny wants an apology
  • Carole goes to Dorinda for support
  • I like Carole
  • The earth is shifting
  • Dorinda is crying about Bethenny calling her nasty
  • She is nasty
  • Sonja facetiming is everything
  • Breakfast time
  • Dorinda takes Bethenny off alone
  • Dorinda apologizes to Bethenny
  • Bethenny cries for real
  • She thinks everyone is mean when drunk
  • She is right
  • These bitches are jealous and it is gross
  • Ramona, Carole and Tinsley go for a boat ride
  • Dorinda, Sonja, Bethenny, and Luann go to the spa
  • Ramona is a fool
  • Ramona will never get laid because of this show
  • Understandable
  • Sonja says Tinsley will marry anyone
  • Tinsley is still dating Carole’s friend
  • Sonja is talking shit about Tinsley
  • Tinsley wants to give Sonja a thank you party
  • Tinsley cannot be trusted
  • Bethenny tells Sonja about the party
  • Sonja thinks the party is bullshit
  • Carole is fishing
  • Ramona is dancing
  • Whales are showing off
  • Carole goes swimming
  • Carole buys a fish and will say she caught it
  • Funny
  • Final night dinner
  • Everyone is happy and getting along
  • Everyone shares their highs and lows
  • Tinsley is drinking while medicating for sure
  • Luann tells Tinsley to stop with the F bomb
  • Tinsley calls out Luann on something idiotic
  • Luann apparently says Palm Beach too much
  • Tinsley was arrested in Palm Beach
  • My gums are numb
  • Luann will be divorced by next season
  • Sad
  • Expected
  • Season finale next week
  • I am so bummed!
  • We’ll be left with Orange County
  • Ugh
  • Ilana does not do Dallas
  • Next week I’m drinking Cosmos!
  • We’ll go out with a bang
  • Drunk and keeping it real