September 19, 2018

Real Housewives of New York City Week 16 Recap

Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.

  • I am doing bullet points
  • I know some of you feel cheated by this format
  • I get it
  • You’ll be okay
  • Jose is here with me
  • He’s excited to see his motherland of Mexico
  • He wants me to do a shot in her honor
  • Done
  • He says if I love him, I love Mexico
  • Another shot in honor of Jose
  • Dear Lord
  • My gums are numb
  • Morning yoga and breakfast for the drunks
  • Luann has a hangover
  • She’s so classy
  • Tinsley got flowers for being slutty
  • Mazel Tov
  • Half the girls are going to surf
  • Others are being lazy
  • Bethenny talks to Ramona
  • Tells her not to come to Tequila
  • Ramona says whatever Bethenny wants
  • She’s going
  • Bethenny and Ramona are scripted
  • Bethenny handles it with classy
  • Ramona is mentally unstable
  • Bethenny, Luann, Dorinda and Carole go surfing
  • Sonja calls out Tinsley’s slutty behavior
  • Pot, Kettle
  • Sonja and Ramona are gossiping
  • Tinsley is talking to her “boyfriend”
  • Tinsley still wants to talk about Page 6
  • Tinsley wants Sonja to call Page 6
  • Sonja is over it
  • Luann thinks surfing will help her hangover
  • She drinks because Tom is at The Regency
  • Sonja is lecturing Tinsley
  • I want to impale myself
  • Tinsley is a one season kind of girl
  • Please
  • Everyone is in two cars to go shopping
  • Bethenny says Ramona knows she is not invited to Tequila
  • Everyone thinks Bethenny will cave
  • Shopping looks amazing
  • Ramona is licking Bethenny’s ass
  • Ramona buys Bethenny a gift
  • So lame
  • Ramona buys Bethenny another gift
  • Bethenny makes a stupid rape reference
  • Not necessary
  • Ramona bought a gift for everyone but Dorinda
  • Carole, Bethenny and Sonja are hot tubbing
  • Bethenny asks Sonja if she should invite Ramona
  • Bethenny tells Sonja to tell Ramona she can come
  • I wouldn’t have included Ramona
  • Better TV if she were left out
  • I just did another shot ( 3rd )
  • My liver is crying and laughing at the same time
  • Sonja tells Carole and Bethenny that Ramona is sad
  • She also says Ramona is not getting laid
  • That apparently is also what makes her so mean
  • Sonja wants Ramona to admit she is miserable
  • Not going to happen
  • Ramona gets a blow out, then goes for a fake run
  • Oh. My. God. This. Is. Perfect.
  • This is the best show on television.
  • Sonja invites Ramona for Bethenny
  • Ramona is pathological
  • Sonja is lovely, but also painful
  • Almost time for a Skinnygirl commercial
  • Wait for it……
  • Everyone is out for dinner
  • Tinsley is STILL TALKING ABOUT PAGE 6
  • I’m bored
  • I’m drunk
  • I’m bored and drunk
  • I want to punch Tinsley
  • Tinsley and Sonja are now screaming
  • People are staring
  • Talk turns to Ramona’s sex life
  • I can’t
  • Dorinda has gifts for everyone
  • Gag gifts, very funny
  • Bethenny gives a pre-Tequila debriefing
  • Ramona is invited
  • However Bethenny wants to talk to her
  • Bethenny begs Ramona to behave herself
  • She cries and begs Ramona to be nice
  • It is sad and touching and valid
  • Bethenny hugs Ramona
  • So gross
  • Shame she caved
  • Everyone is off to Tequila by helicopter
  • Ramona looks tragic
  • Ramona and Bethenny in the same helicopter is scripted
  • I call bullshit
  • Jose is hoping to see family
  • I love him
  • We’re making out
  • No shame
  • Jose knows Viktor
  • Jose knows Rafael
  • Ramona is now licking Bethenny’s ass
  • I can’t
  • Neither can Dorinda
  • This tequila tasting is my dream
  • I’ll pass on the horn though
  • Ramona is repulsive
  • Jose knows all those little kids
  • Skinnygirl commercial in three…two…one…
  • They are getting blasted
  • Luann is a Champion
  • Sonja hasn’t had a drink in 10 months
  • Her nose is growing
  • Time to go back to the house
  • Hilarious how often they say the name of the house
  • All drunks in the pool!
  • Sonja wants to make out with Luann
  • Dorinda and a rope swing do not mix
  • Sonja doesn’t think she will get married again
  • Ramona talks about Mario cheating
  • Sonja talks about Mario cheating
  • Sonja is sloppy
  • Sonja wants Ramona to admit she is not happy
  • Sonja is talking about Ramona having sex
  • Ramona is melancholy
  • Bethenny comes to Ramona’s defense
  • Sonja is slurring
  • Bethenny is screaming
  • Ramona is wallowing
  • Next week they’re still in Mexico!
  • I love this show
  • I love Jose
  • I love you for reading
  • I love keeping it real