Real Housewives of New York City Week 15 Recap


Typos are generously sponsored by Jose Cuervo.

  • Final wisdom tooth is out
  • Dental work is finally done
  • I’m tired
  • I’m medicated
  • Have to bullet point
  • Forgive me
  • I’ll be back to normal next week
  • I’m numb
  • 15 days sugar free
  • I need a Cosmo so bad
  • I’m watching Mexico with Jose
  • I love you Jose
  • Seriously, it’s love
  • I need to go to Mexico
  • Interesting travel outfits
  • These women are not from Beverly Hills
  • This trip is a year in the making
  • Ramona has had a chemical peel
  • Oh. My. God.
  • It’s Samantha from the SATC book launch
  • I think Carole is fabulous this season
  • Taco Bell is not from Mexico
  • I would NEVER blow Simon
  • Everyone would marry Carole
  • Everyone would bang LuAnn
  • Everyone would kill Tinsley
  • Makes sense to me
  • Luann wanted to be set up by Carole
  • Probably still does
  • Tinsley had a 5 day date with Carole’s friend
  • Tinsley is slutty
  • Probably because of all the booze and pills
  • Bless her
  • Sonja is comedy gold
  • She got a dick pick
  • It was the wrong number
  • Perfection
  • Ramona’s laugh makes me want to impale myself
  • The villa is fantastic
  • Everyone is rude to the staff
  • Only Tinsley shook a hand
  • Rude American bitches
  • Sonja chugs a margarita
  • Because she is not drinking
  • I freaking love her
  • Everyone admires the house
  • Ramona and Sonja scope rooms
  • They are gross
  • By they of course I mean Ramona
  • Shame Sonja thinks she needs Ramona
  • She doesn’t
  • Ramona has a hard on for the right room
  • Bethenny has the flu
  • Ramona is bullying Sonja
  • Poor Sonja
  • Bethenny shuts down the room scoping
  • She is not having it
  • Bethenny calls Ramona a twat
  • Yeah, she reads my blog
  • I’m over Ramona
  • She should be let go
  • It is time
  • They are drawing numbers for room selection
  • Grown up move
  • Tinsley gets to pick first, then Luann
  • Ramona and Sonja have to pick last
  • Karma is on holiday in Mexico too
  • Tinsley doesn’t want the pressure of picking first
  • She trades numbers with Bethenny
  • Bethenny now picks first and Tinsley third
  • Bravo Tinsley
  • The right move since it’s Bethenny’s trip
  • I’ve been writing this blog for 2 hours
  • I keep dozing off
  • Oy vey
  • Ramona is mentally deranged
  • Ramona thinks Tinsley should’ve given her pick to Sonja
  • Ramona is a vicious twat
  • Bethenny takes the room Ramona had selected
  • Bethenny and Luann have the two master suites
  • Sonja is now yelling at Tinsley
  • Ramona needs a slap across the face
  • I’ll do it!
  • We’ve been watching the room selection for 10 minutes
  • Really?
  • Ramona wants a room with 2 beds
  • Doesn’t she always say she and Sonja sleep together?
  • Dear Lord
  • Sonja is everything
  • Ramona is nothing
  • Dorinda is sticking to the room lottery
  • Make this stop
  • Please
  • I’m having a shot of Jose
  • It must be done
  • With a straw since I can’t feel my mouth
  • I’m fancy
  • Dorinda tells Bethenny to make Ramona stop
  • So much screaming
  • Bethenny sets Ramona and Sonja straight
  • Ramona stares like Charles Manson
  • She scares the shit out of me
  • Ramona is going to die alone
  • Who would marry this woman?
  • The medium kid from E! would tell her the same
  • Her requests of the staff are hideous
  • I want to push her down some stairs
  • Sorry
  • Not at all sorry
  • Not even a little bit
  • Everyone is happy about the trip
  • Sonja and Ramona are still complaining
  • I’ve lived in London for most of the last year
  • Lots of time in the English countryside
  • I’ve never played the balloon game
  • Dorinda’s description of the English is odd
  • Carole has no body fat
  • Thus popping a balloon really hurts
  • Tinsley is a whiner
  • I never trash talk my friends like this
  • Of course these people are not really friends
  • Tinsley is not a nice girl
  • She’s more just stupid and harmless
  • Ramona is blowing smoke up Sonja’s ass
  • Ramona doesn’t have command of the English language
  • Bethenny thinks Sonja needs to dump Ramona
  • Agreed
  • Ramona is desperate for a friend
  • She will shit on Sonja in a heartbeat
  • Mario laughs when he watches this show
  • Then he bangs his young lover
  • Who is also a whore
  • Dinner is served
  • Only Bethenny turns up
  • She is 90 minutes late
  • So rude to the chef
  • Why do they hug so much?
  • Page Six wrote about Tinsley
  • She is upset about it
  • Blah, blah, blah
  • Better to be on Page Six than not
  • Sonja fed a story to the paper
  • By Sonja of course I mean Ramona
  • Guaranteed
  • Everyone finally gets to dinner
  • I am digging me some Bethenny
  • Tinsley is painfully dumb
  • She also talks through her nasal cavity
  • It makes me itchy
  • Bethenny reminds Tinsley she needs to move out
  • Ugh
  • Same thing over and over again
  • Luann arrives to dinner absolutely trashed
  • Dorinda sleeps through dinner
  • I feel sorry for the chef her meal is disrespected
  • Luann thanks Bethenny for the trip
  • Ramona says it is a group trip so no need to thank her
  • Ramona is painfully unhappy
  • Bethenny is eating and talking with her mouth full
  • She’s right but gross
  • Bethenny calls out Ramona for being an asshole
  • Tinsley chimes in to make it about Page Six
  • Tinsley is high
  • Allegedly
  • Luann is drinking her sadness
  • Ramona avoids the press like a leak
  • Oh. My God.
  • This is the funniest show on television
  • Period
  • Sonja needs to separate from Ramona
  • Luann is still tucking
  • I don’t think Sonja went to the press
  • I think it was Ramona
  • Luann is sloppy
  • Probably because she can’t reach Tom on the phone
  • He’s at The Regency
  • Harsh
  • Tinsley is screeching
  • Make it stop
  • Shot number 2 is happening right now
  • I need to sleep
  • If there are no tears, it is not crying
  • Stop it Tinsley
  • Bethenny is certain Sonja planted the story
  • Ugh
  • Ramona leaves the room
  • Translation: guilty
  • Luann is a mess and it is fantastic
  • Ramona planted the story
  • Luann falls into the bushes
  • The poor guy from the hotel can hardly get her up
  • She’s an Amazonian
  • Ramona doesn’t offer to help Luann
  • Luann falls again down a step
  • I love this show so much
  • Again Ramona does not help Luann up
  • She tried Tom again, no answer
  • Bethenny is still lecturing Sonja
  • They all need to go to bed
  • I need to go to bed
  • Will be interesting to read this blog tomorrow
  • Oy vey
  • I’m done keeping it real

 

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