September 22, 2018

Real Housewives of Orange County Week 2 Recap

Typos are generously sponsored by Merlot.

  • I can’t blog this entire season
  • I’ll try, but really, I can’t
  • These chicks are trashy
  • Not even Jesus can sit through it
  • In fact, he’s annoyed they keep bugging him
  • He told me
  • Shannon is nuts
  • She’s also cute a bit pudgy
  • Elaine is mental
  • Shannon doesn’t know what stress means
  • She thinks David cheating = stress
  • Translation: he is still cheating
  • Vicki makes my back spasm
  • Shannon needs to move on
  • I’m over her
  • Jose is laughing at her
  • God is napping
  • Meghan is painfully dramatic
  • Dear Lord, you’re not the world’s first mom
  • Jimmy is almost appealing
  • I want to slap Meghan
  • She is mental
  • Lydia is trying to sell product
  • Ugh
  • She needs a smack too
  • Gentle, but still a smack
  • Lydia owns 49% of the company
  • Yikes
  • We are meeting the new girl Peggy
  • No
  • Peggy had a mastectomy due to family history
  • Bravo
  • Lydia thinks she felt a connection to tell her
  • Um, she told all of us
  • Tamra’s granddaughter is turning 1
  • I can’t
  • Ryan and Sarah are just not into each other
  • Sad to see
  • Sad if we cared, but we don’t
  • They are drinking beer?
  • Perfect 1st birthday
  • Briana is invited to the party
  • Tamra is not into Briana because of Vicki
  • Dear Lord this check is gross
  • Kelly and her husband are unwatchable
  • I can’t
  • Shannon looks like a giant next to David
  • David hates Shannon
  • That’s rough
  • Um, cheap hooker makeup = cotillion
  • Pretty girls, unfortunate shoes
  • Time to hang out with Peggy
  • She’s 100% Armenian but not born in Armenia?
  • Intellect of a Kardashian on this one
  • 5 minutes in and I like her
  • The Shahs of Sunset want to be her
  • Who says “bam” when someone opens their gift?
  • Vicki makes my eye twitch
  • Vicki is pissed Briana will be seeing Tamra
  • Briana is a drag
  • This party is pretentious for a 1 year old
  • I like Lydia’s mom
  • Tamra is really loud
  • Lydia meets Shannon
  • Lydia is harmless
  • Shannon is a twat
  • Shannon asked is Vicki spoke about her
  • Then says she doesn’t care?
  • Shannon needs therapy
  • Lydia loves Shannon
  • I want to get high with Judy
  • Tamra blows out the candles with Ava
  • Not Ava’s mom?
  • Weird
  • Shannon tells Lydia Vicki talks shit
  • Lydia tells Shannon she is talking shit
  • Bravo Lydia
  • Shannon thinks Vicki is obsessed with her
  • Vicki has been Shannon’s storyline forever
  • This show is seriously stupid
  • I drank half a bottle of wine
  • I the first thirty minutes
  • Working on the other half now
  • Pray for my liver
  • Shannon is unraveling
  • It is fascinating
  • No way David is not cheating
  • No way
  • Shannon is losing it
  • Lydia goes to Judy
  • Shannon goes to Tamra
  • Lydia comes to say bye to Tamra
  • Tamra tells Lydia Shannon is upset
  • Shannon is eating nachos
  • I’m glad Lydia is back
  • Shannon needs to be admitted to a hospital
  • I’m watching just for Shannon
  • Her delusion makes her incapable of keeping it real