Real Housewives of New York City Week 12 Recap


Typos are lovingly brought to you by Jose Cuervo.

I’m with Jose, and he loves it when I do bullet points, so because this blog is so late, I’m going with the bullets. I’m one shot down and going in.

  • We start with Bethenny walking in The Bronx to have lunch
  • The ladies are joining her
  • Tinsley arrives first in her prom dress
  • Are we supposed to think they walked there?
  • That’s not happening
  • Dorinda arrives “hung over”
  • By hung over of course she means smashed
  • Why not schlep in together?
  • They did, then walked in separately is my guess
  • Carole is on animal safari
  • Sonja is gorgeous
  • Luann is tucking
  • Ramona was not invited
  • Expect a scene with Avery any minute
  • Lunch looks amazing!
  • Bethenny is planning a Vermont ski trip
  • Everyone is on board
  • Will Ramona be invited?
  • Bethenny wants nothing to do with Ramona
  • Dorinda is drinking
  • No good can come of that
  • Back to talking about Tipsy Girl
  • Oy vey!
  • Sonja says Ramona and Dorinda wanted to do Tipsy Girl
  • Dorinda is about to blow
  • Dorinda insists she wanted nothing to do with it
  • Sonja insists John said Dorinda was into it
  • Dorinda is now screaming she wasn’t into it
  • Sonja suggests Dorinda is backing off because of Bethenny
  • Dorinda is livid
  • Dorinda is belligerent
  • Dorinda is sloppy
  • Embarrassing
  • Shame because she is great
  • Dorinda says Sonja is bankrupt and a fool
  • Dorinda is now screaming “clip”
  • Very funny, but intervention worthy

Sidebar: Dorinda was a brilliant addition to this cast. She is liked by everyone, brings comic relief and occasional words of wisdom, but the woman cannot get a handle on herself when she is drunk. She is messy and sloppy and it is painfully unattractive. I thought Sonja was a much nicer drunk that Dorinda, and perhaps the intervention was focused on the wrong lady. Dial it back Dorinda.

  • Sonja does not get why Dorinda is so vicious
  • Dorinda is screaming like a maniac
  • Dorinda is now crying and blabbering
  • Sonja is back to being kept out of the Berkshires
  • Bethenny calls Sonja Elsa so she will “Let it Go”
  • Perfection
  • Lunch is getting good and then abruptly ends
  • Weird editing
  • Someone tells Carole she looks like Melania Trump
  • Um, no
  • Cut to Tinsley having therapy
  • My. God.
  • Televised therapy is gross
  • It is also a desperate attempt to invent a storyline
  • Tinsley’s therapist is attractive
  • Tinsley needs booze to sleep
  • Tinsley is a mess and this show was perhaps not a good idea
  • Ugh with the crying
  • I can’t
  • This is painful to watch
  • So….. I’m not watching it
  • I’m making a cocktail
  • A very strong one
  • Luann is having lunch with Sonja and Ramona
  • Ramona is told she can come to Vermont if she wants
  • Ramona only skis in Aspen
  • Dear Lord
  • Ramona is mental
  • Sonja is confused
  • Luann just got married
  • Blah, blah, blah
  • Sonja says they are new friends with Dorinda
  • Luann insists they’ve been friends for years
  • Sonja says they never slept with the same man
  • Apparently that makes you better friends
  • I can’t
  • Luann wants an apology
  • Sonja won’t apologize
  • Luann is leaving
  • Sonja still won’t apologize
  • Luann bails
  • Time for Vermont
  • The house is spectacular
  • Dorinda, Carole, and Bethenny are there first
  • Sonja, Ramona, Tinsley are driving up
  • Ramona sent Bethenny a text
  • Passive aggressive bullshit
  • Ramona is really dumb
  • Bethenny is done
  • Bethenny’s Mexico trip from last year is back on
  • Debauchery is coming
  • Dorinda goes to get her bags from the car
  • She forgot to bring her bags
  • She had sex with John and was distracted
  • Or, perhaps she was just drunk again
  • Allegedly
  • Dorinda picks the best available room in the house
  • We’re now talking about sex between John and Dorinda
  • Oy vey
  • Ramona is very loud
  • Her voice is now grating like Jill’s was
  • The ladies arrive and Bethenny steps away for a call
  • Ramona wants a glass of wine
  • Not Skinnygirl though
  • Ramona and Sonja go to pick their room
  • They are not happy Dorinda got the big room

Sidebar: Ramona does not bring anything to this show. It’s not like she ever did really, but absolutely does not now. I get she’s been there from the beginning, but that does not mean she needs to be on the show forever. She will be fine without the show, but the show becomes unwatchable with her on it. She is not funny, entertaining, or believable. She is painful and needs to be done.

  • Ramona wants to know why Carole didn’t save them the big room
  • Sonja will be better on this show without Ramona
  • Sonja will be better in life without Ramona
  • They’ve been talking about rooms forever
  • Who cares?
  • Dorinda is talking with her mouth full
  • Ramona wants Dorinda’s room
  • Luann is pissed to be stuck in the basement
  • I just made another cocktail
  • Luann and Ramona talk about Ramona not being mean
  • I can’t
  • Ramona needs to go
  • She also needs to get laid
  • Sonja gives Ramona tap water and says it is bottled
  • Perfection
  • Tinsley tells Bethenny she is boy crazy
  • She is 41 years old
  • Maybe look for men not boys?
  • Bethenny broke up with Dennis
  • Blames it on her divorce
  • Blah, blah, blah
  • Tinsley wants to date a Jew
  • Don’t we all?
  • Dinner is served
  • Dorinda is drunk again
  • Ramona and Sonja are late
  • Bethenny says dinner is starting
  • Bethenny invites everyone to Mexico
  • She drops how much everything costs
  • Gross
  • Luann just got married!
  • Ramona is late because her room is too small
  • Luann is the only married one
  • Real Not Housewives of NYC
  • Tinsley isn’t looking to get married
  • Yes she is
  • Tinsley is drinking a lot
  • Sonja thinks everyone is just like her
  • Everyone tells Sonja to leave Tinsley alone
  • Tinsley is whining
  • Tinsley is now losing her shit
  • Blame is on Sonja
  • Tinsley only has herself to blame for her life
  • Bethenny tells Tinsley to move out or shut up
  • Tinsley is mean to Carole, her only ally
  • Tinsley is crying about her abusive relationship
  • Tinsley says her situation is worse than everyone else’s
  • Um, who exactly is Tinsley?
  • Nobody cares
  • Bethenny suggests Tinsley Google her
  • My liver is tired so luckily this is over

Here’s the thing, this show is brilliant and I love it, but Tinsley is not a fit and she needs to go. So does Ramona. Her time has come, and gone, and we need a shakeup. Maybe add a woman of color, or a Jew, or a Muslim maybe? We need change, we need someone new, and we need someone who does not speak through their nasal cavity. Next week looks go, so I’ll be here with a full blog, keeping it real.