September 22, 2018

Real Housewives of New York City Week 9 Recap

Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.

I said in my recap of week 8 that I would write a regular recap this week, but the truth is I love the bullet points. They make me laugh, are a much faster process, and most importantly, allow me to drink more. I love this show, I love to blog it, and I love a cocktail, so I’m sticking with bullet points because Ramona is driving me to drink. I’ve got Jose by my side and he is ready. By ready of course I mean he is on ice and all set to make out with me. Here we go people!

  • Bethenny is going after Ramona
  • Ramona is high
  • Bethenny says Ramona has not been a good friend
  • Ramona thinks Bethenny is kidding
  • Ramona thinks Bethenny is kidding
  • Ramona thinks Bethenny is kidding
  • I crack myself up
  • Shot #1 is done
  • Bethenny is recapping years of Ramona being a bad friend
  • Ramona is getting red splotches on her neck
  • Ramona then dumps shit all over Bethenny
  • Ramona says Bethenny slept her way to the top
  • Bethenny handles it like a champ
  • Dear Lord
  • Bethenny’s past is front and center
  • Ramona says Skinnygirl is done
  • Oh. My. God.
  • Ramona says Bethenny is fake
  • She grew up with money and a silver spoon in her mouth
  • Bethenny is not engaging with crazy
  • Ramona is unraveling
  • Bethenny is an opportunist
  • Ramona is going for the jugular
  • Bethenny is broken
  • Bethenny is shutting it down
  • This show is fucking perfection
  • Ramona says Bethenny is a bitch
  • Bethenny is going home
  • Sonja doesn’t get what happened
  • Ramona is making shit up to Sonja
  • Bethenny is recounting the chat to Carole
  • Sonja says Bethenny is done and Ramona is drunk
  • Dorinda joins Bethenny and Carole
  • Luann joins Ramona and Sonja
  • Dorinda wishes Ramona was leaving not Bethenny
  • Ramona tells Carole Bethenny thinks she is boring
  • Oh. My. God.
  • This is just too good
  • Ramona is mentally unwell
  • Bethenny tells Ramona they will never speak again
  • Carole bails with Bethenny
  • Morning and time for another shot
  • Tinsley does not belong here
  • Ramona sobers up and feels bad
  • I call bullshit
  • Ramona never feels bad about her behavior
  • Ramona knew exactly what she was saying
  • Dorinda makes things nice
  • Sonja is hilarious
  • Luann heads back to the city
  • Sonja tells Tinsley there are rules in her house
  • Tinsley is over Sonja
  • She is also ungrateful
  • Ramona left Dorinda’s room a mess
  • Ramona is gross
  • Ramona made Dorinda cry
  • That’s not nice
  • Ramona is an entitled twat
  • Tinsley is looking at an apartment with Carole
  • It is $7100 a month
  • There is simply no way in hell she can afford that
  • Come on
  • Bethenny has a moth problem
  • She also paid 10K to get rid of moths
  • I love Bethenny on this show
  • Just not at this exact moment
  • Dorinda is at lunch with Jill and Bobby
  • She’s baaaaaaaaack
  • Luann joins the lunch
  • Dorinda and Luann are gossiping
  • Jill is drooling to be back on the show
  • Bobby Zarin is lovely
  • Luann talks about Ramona’s gossip
  • Tom says Ramona is bad
  • Jill’s voice is grating
  • Time for a Jill retrospective
  • Jill says Ramona’s life is a mess
  • Dorinda defends Ramona
  • Jill no longer belongs on this show
  • That’s a shame, but no
  • Carole posed for an artist
  • Time for the art show
  • Carole is naked
  • She looks good
  • Dorinda, Tinsley, and Bethenny arrive
  • Dorinda tells her Ramona trashed her house
  • Dorinda would sue Ramona is she weren’t so nice
  • Ramona arrives
  • She is delusional
  • Sonja arrives
  • She is flustered
  • Ugh
  • Shot #3
  • Ramona is mental
  • Bethenny will never speak with her again
  • Ramona is spinning and it isn’t working
  • Bethenny says Ramona is jealous
  • Amen
  • Luann is on her way to Florida for her wedding
  • Her pathetic and tragic wedding
  • Bless her
  • Tom is a pig
  • That won’t last
  • Poor Countless
  • I’ve had 3 shots and a margarita
  • Dear Lord
  • He’s just not that into her
  • We have a long way to go to the reunion
  • I’m hooked
  • I’m also drunk
  • I’ll be back next week
  • With Jose
  • Keeping it real