September 23, 2018

Real Housewives of New York City Week 7 Recap

Typos are generously provided by Absolute Vodka.

We are heading back to the Berkshires. Oy vey. It will be interesting, because it always is. I love this show, but I can’t decide what is more annoying, listening to how poor Bethenny is, or how rich she is. Either way she is bringing this show to life, so good for her. I’m in London, have a cocktail by my side, and I am going with bullet points today. They make me laugh, and are fast, so I’m hoping I can get through this week in three cocktails or less. By three of course I mean five.

  • Luann and Tom make me sad
  • Sad for her
  • Grossed out by him
  • I call divorce in under two years
  • Bless her
  • I get the desperation
  • Wouldn’t do it, but get it
  • Carole lives in animal squalor
  • Dorinda is fabulous
  • When she’s going mental on Sonja
  • Bethenny is selling her house
  • She is rich again
  • She is setting up her show with him
  • Free advertising
  • Great apartment
  • Teachers wear chalk everyday
  • That’s funny
  • Ramona is visiting Carole
  • Ramona is mental
  • I can smell the kitty litter
  • Carole is filled to the rim
  • Tight
  • All these bitches talk about is Luann
  • Tom creeps me out
  • Tom is not funny
  • Tom is a fame whore
  • And a regular whore
  • Blah, blah, blah
  • I’m over the gossip already
  • She is marrying him
  • Move on
  • Shorter hair suits Carole
  • Carole is concerned
  • Ramona is jealous
  • Tom wants to run
  • Luann is not running
  • I’m on drink number two
  • It’s an Absolut kind of evening
  • Ramona is friends with Trump
  • Ugh
  • This Tom gossip is painful
  • Time for Christmas in the Berkshires
  • Dorinda’s decorations are fascinating
  • Not in a good way
  • Ramona and Sonja arrive
  • So far, so good
  • Ramona is incredibly unappealing
  • Tinsley is having lunch with her mom
  • Tinsley is a one season addition
  • I can’t with her
  • Is Tinsley’s hair pink?
  • How old is she?
  • Tinsley is a drinker
  • Perhaps that explains her mugshot
  • Tinsley needs to move out of Sonja’s
  • Tinsley is ungrateful
  • Sonja has a hard on for Tinsley
  • Sonja looks like a crazy person
  • Tinsley looks like a mean girl
  • Time to decorate the tree
  • I’m bored
  • Carole is shopping with Adam’s parents
  • I can’t
  • Adam wants kids
  • Carole does not want kinds
  • Why are they together?
  • For a cookbook?
  • Tinsley arrives in the Berkshires
  • Sonja is jealous of Tinsley
  • Very strange
  • Morning brings Carole and Bethenny
  • Bethenny is very entertaining
  • Carole is invisible
  • Bethenny gets flowers at Dorinda’s
  • On Dorinda’s birthday
  • Dennis loves Bethenny
  • Flowers were weird though
  • More Tom gossip
  • Ugh
  • Enough already
  • They all love talking about Luann
  • Ramona is stupid
  • That’s mean
  • Ramona is stupid
  • No getting around it
  • MORE TOM GOSSIP
  • These chicks are relentless
  • The ladies dump or Dorinda
  • She is the chosen messenger
  • I honestly can’t take it
  • This is everyone’s storyline
  • Who cares?
  • Luann arrives
  • Let the games begin
  • But first, cookie decorating!
  • Luann arrives
  • I feel so sad for her
  • Public humiliation is rough
  • Sonja wants the decorating stuff
  • Classic
  • Tinsley is talking of moving out
  • Sonja is bitchy
  • Tinsley is too sensitive
  • Sonja loses her shit in 3..2..1..
  • Not cute Sonja
  • Eccentric is fabulous
  • Crazy is just crazy
  • Dorinda is going to dump it all on Luann
  • Luann takes it like a trooper
  • Poor thing already knows
  • Luann trusts Tom 100%
  • She knows it is right
  • She doesn’t check his phone
  • Big mistake
  • Huge
  • The Berkshire blowout will be next week
  • I went through three cocktails
  • I’ll be reunited with my boyfriend Jose next week
  • Tipsy, but keeping it real