September 25, 2018

Real Housewives of New York Week 1 Recap

Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.

The ladies of New York are finally back. I love this group and while I don’t really see the need for Carole to still be here. She is Bethenny’s sidekick and isn’t going anywhere, so we are stuck with her. The good thing is she is invisible and won’t have a storyline, so we can skip over her.  Will cut down on the blogging time, so thanks Carole. I love this show and enjoy blogging it, even though it may not always appear that way! We have new taglines, so grab a drink and we’ll begin with those.

Dorinda – I tell it like it is, but I always make it nice. Perfection

Ramona – I am an acquired taste, you don’t like me, acquire some taste. Ugh

Sonja – There’s nothing grey about my gardens. Classic

Carole – In the politics of friendship, I win the popular vote. Yuck

Luann – The only title I’d trade Countess for, is wife. He’s cheating

Tinsley – A good set of lashes can fix anything, including a mug shot.  Agreed

Bethenny – If you’re going to take a shot at this B, you better not miss. I never miss

Ramona is redoing her apartment and her contractor’s name is Mario. Carole got cats for when Adam laves her, Luann is in love with a cheater, Sonja puts her sex toys in the dishwasher, and Bethenny is still finally divorced. She has received her original rich girl apartment back and is selling it. It was sweet when we saw her get that apartment with Jason, so good for her it is finally over and she can move on.

Dorinda and Luann are having a scripted walk in the park. Luann is planning her wedding and only Dorinda is invited from the group. Dorinda says the group is fractured and she in particular is angry with Sonja and waiting for blow up. Over to Sonja, she is in a play because you know, she has an international following. Sonja is Little Edie in the best possible way and I love her. She is messy and fabulous.

Cut to Ramona who is shamelessly flirting with her contractor. It is painfully awkward and I can smell the desperation from here. She has also had A LOT of work done to her face. Yikes. Her apartment looks great through. Speaking of apartments, we see Bethenny’s staged and ready to sell. It looks amazing and I would live there in a heartbeat. I’d also pay 7 mil so she better aim high.

Over to Carole’s, she has two new kittens and Adam has moved in. They are simply “shacking up”, not anything else. Carole is developmentally stunted. These two are rehashing last season and I’m not interested. Dorinda is blowing off Luann’s bachelorette party, which begs the question, why the hell is Luann having a bachelorette party. Oy vey. Carole and Dorinda are back on track. For now.

Bethenny is visiting with Sonja and that makes me happy. Sonja is harmless and when Bethenny went after her it was hard to watch. I want them to be friends. We jump back to Luann and all the jumping is annoying. I get there is a lot to fit in to get the season started, but all the going back and forth is a drag. So, back with Luann, she has moved into Tom’s lovely home and is planning her wedding.

Ugh. Tom seems to be a pig and I feel sad for Luann that she has such low self-esteem that marrying him was an option after all the shit she found out and I’m sure continues to find you. Tom showed her exactly who he was and she stayed. That makes her pathetic and rather tragic. The wedding sounds over the top. What some of these women will go through for a storyline is truly fascinating.

Watching Sonja give away clothes is funny and Bethenny is cute, appreciative and very funny. Back to Bethenny’s house, we meet her two new dogs. Perfection. She gets a full price cash offer on her house and just like that Bethenny can finally move on from her divorce and homeless story. Cookie is 16 years old and absolute perfection. I love that dog and will be so sad if she passes, so she must not.

Jumping to Ramona’s she is having Dorinda over for lunch, but it out for lunch. Really? She went on a date date with her hair like that? I don’t buy it. She is faking and it is sad. Poor thing. Ramona tells Dorinda she enjoyed time her boyfriend John. Whatever. Ramona is talking shit about Luann. That seems to be a theme and we are just getting started. Ramona is mad Luann didn’t invite her to her bridal shower, so she is going to go after her. Juicy.

Ramona says not only is Tom sleeping around on Luann, Luann is fooling around on Tom. Oy vey. Over to Bethenny’s, Carole has come for a visit and is sporting some unfortunate filler. Dear Lord. What are these women doing to themselves? Yikes. Carole is obsessed with the presidential campaign and Clinton defeating Trump. Shame how that worked out. No storyline for Carole for another year.

Luann is meeting with Ramona for a drink. By drink of course I mean scripted and fake interaction. Ramona asks Luann why she wasn’t invited to her party and Luann wants to know why Ramona is digging around for intel on Tom. Ramona says she knows shit about Tom, but Luann is not interested. Ugh. It is going to be a long season but I am in, I am drinking, and I am keeping it real.