September 23, 2018

So You Haven’t Found The Right Partner Yet? Here’s What You Can Do

I hear it all the time: Why is it so hard to find the right person?

Finding the right partner has become a difficult journey, filled with pressures, stress, let-downs, and negativity that leads people to believe “there is no one out there!” Let me stop you right there and tell you, YES your soulmate IS out there, and it DOES exist. But we have it all wrong…. This isn’t about finding your soulmate, this is about finding YOU first. And from there, it will get easier. Allow me to explain.

So, how can you find yourself and meet your best match? Here’s a step-by-step process that works.

  1. Be  Your True Self And Don’t Take Things Personally

When trying to meet someone, or going on the first few dates with someone, we tend to have our walls up, guards up, and shield the person from seeing who we really are. Meanwhile, we wonder: “does he/she like me? Do I look good? Am I saying the right things?” All this overthinking and guess what, you already lost yourself! Being your true self is free. Be comfortable, confident, sweet, friendly, and loving. This is your true nature. I’m talking when you really really know yourself, you know the beauty within you and what you have to offer. You love yourself so much and are in such a good place that you are radiating LIGHT! And that will attract someone.

So why is it so important to be in that “true self” place? Because when you are being your true self and really feeling happy and comfortable in your own skin, you radiate an unexplainable energy that attracts all the right things to you (including your soulmate)! And even better, when you’re being your true self while full of love, happiness, and confidence, if it doesn’t workout with someone, you don’t take it personally. If it doesn’t work out with someone, you know that you were being your best self, so if it was taken out of your life, gd has better plans for you and your true soulmate is waiting for you!

  1. Change Your Perception, Shift Your Story

What you tell yourself becomes your reality. So when you tell yourself “I will never find anyone” or “there are no guys out there,” then guess what: you won’t find anyone and there won’t be any guys out there for you! Why? Because you said so! Your word has more power than you think. You’re sending out those thoughts out into the universe, so the universe will send you back exactly what you’re asking for. Being negative, anxious, and pessimistic doesn’t serve you! Your story of never finding love won’t make you happy. So, change your story to what works for you!

Tell yourself: “My soulmate is out there, he/she is awesome, we’re going to be so happy together, and I am so excited to meet them!” Let’s focus your story on YOU— what do you want and ask for it! You want to meet your soulmate… so tell yourself “I KNOW my soulmate is out there!” By telling yourself a positive story and having a happy, confident, and optimistic perception, imagine how it will change you and your attitude! You will be more excited, more lively, more free, and of course… happier, with something to look forward to.

  1. Know The Five Qualities YOU Need In A Partner

What do you NEED in a partner? Remember, this is different than what you want; what you want in a partner may not necessarily be the best thing for you. For example, you’re the loud, funny, energetic one and you want someone exactly like you. Will two loud energetic people balance each other well? Or do you NEED someone more calm who grounds you? Spend time reflecting on yourself and figure out the top 5 qualities you need in someone. Remember, this is about you.

  1. Trust It Exists And Envision It Constantly

So now you know how amazing you are, you’ve shifted your story to tell yourself your soulmate is out there and you know what you need in a partner; so this is where things start to get fun: lay back, relax, and trust the process! No more pressure, stress, or anxiety is necessary, because you’re feeling your best, confident in what you have to offer, clear on what you need, and sending out this incredible unexplainable energy that is attracting people to you! All you have to do is truly trust that as long as you are being your most authentic self, your best and happiest self, your soulmate will come to you. Envision the love you are yearning for, and let your excitement guide you in finding it!

  1. Be Your Priority And Have Fun

Why is it that we lose ourselves to try to make it work with someone? Or why is it that the first thing we drop in our schedules are the things we do for ourselves? To maintain internal balance and fulfillment, it is crucial to make time to do things that make your soul happy; whether that’s painting, reading, singing, sports, cooking, you name it. Making time for yourself should always be a priority; because how can you give love to others if you don’t love yourself? How can you expect people to appreciate you if you don’t appreciate yourself? And trust me, having passions, hobbies, and personal goals is ATTRACTIVE! So start incorporating yourself back into your life, and have fun with it!

Approaching the dating world with these five steps as your pillars of truth will bring you back to yourself and make dating the fun, exciting journey that it should be. And remember, dating isn’t about spending all your energy to find the right partner, it’s about conserving and creating your best energy to attract the right partner.


Nicole Nour Hanasab (Nicole Nour Coaching) is a Life Coach based in Los Angeles whose practice helps people find their inner beauty, self-esteem, direction, and passion in order to live a truly fulfilling, meaningful, and happy life.